Made From Jeddah

When we're in Jeddah during Ops Piramid, kitorang dok kat bangunan tabung haji malaysia. Kawasan yang agak luas tapi takle keluar dari kawasan tu. Siap ade jual roti canai segala bagai lagi. Pak cik arab kat situ pulak bleh cakap arab dengan agak fluent weh. Buat penat aku je cakap arab. 

Alkisahnya, aku dan kawan aku nih teramat lah suke kuar malam-malam untuk meninjau pashmina2 yang dijual oleh pak cik arab. Yelah, kalau keluar di pagi hari, cuaca agak hot sket. So, prefer keluar malam lagi. Padahal takde buat pape pon dalam dorm tuh.  Memang ramai la yang apply teori yang same. Haih. Tengah asyik dok membelek-belek pashmina terjumpalah satu beg duet nih. Budak pompuan punye. Tak tau sape yang banyak duet sangat sampai buang beg duet. Lepas intai-intai-tanya-tanya orang sekeliling, takde sapa tau beg duet tu sape punya.

Lantas, aku & Nani ambik beg duet tu pegi pejabat urusetia. Dorang suruh kitorang meng-announce sendiri pasal tu. Aku & Nani terkontang-kanting kat kaunter tu sebab takde orang yang jaga tempat tu. Naseb baek ade orang volunteer nak announcekan. Gamaknye kesian nengok kitorang macam cacing kepanasan tercegat kat tepi tuh. Berlaku siket konpius mase tu gara-gara takleh detect sape owner beg tu. Banyak sangat IC dan driving license. Duet toksah cakap lah. Memang banyak. Around 1000le++ kot.

Pastu, datang la few girls nak tuntut beg duet tu. Budak medic Zagazig rupenye. Patot la banyak IC, sume sumbat IC dalam beg duet member.

A: Naseb baek korang jumpe. Time kaseh ek.

Aku & Nani: Takde hal lah. Camne bleh hilang?

B: Mase pegi beli pashmina la. Tengok2 dah takde. Kitorang tanya pak cik arab pasal mende nih. Dia tanya kitorang hilang kat mane. Kat kedai dia ke? Kitorang cakap la kan. Dia tanya ade brape duet dalam tu. Takot gak nak cakap banyak2 kan. Cakaplah ade dalam 1000le. Pastu, dia teros kasi kitorang 500le sebagai ganti dengan yakinnya. Terkejot kot.

Aku & Nani: *terkedu*

A: Pasni pegi bagi balik duet pak cik tu weh.

p/s: Ade orang hilang purse kat kedai kite.  Agak-agak kite buat macam pak cik tu tak? renung-renungkan dan selamat beramal. Peace!

 

Reunion KSP?

Sebenarnya bukan reunion pon. Baru 5 bulan je kot tinggalkan ksp. Cuma pegi melepak melawat Shahputra College terchenta. But, of cos la tak sume join. Hanya yang berwibawa dan berkaliber je. Oh bukan bukan. Dorang ade hal masing2 lah. Sila berhusnuzzon sket ye. Budak pompuan 9 orang. Budak laki aku tak ingat la pulak. 11 orang kot. 

our feveret AP.

Memula, kitorang pi SMK Astana aka SEMKAS which is also kat kuantan. Misi yang perlu dilaksanakan adalah sharing teknik blaja kat dorang. I thought budak form 5 jer. Tak tau pulak upper6 pon ade skali. Aiseh. Hape aku mau cite kat dorang nih? Same umor kot. Dahla aku bukna geng stadi ikot teknik blaja. Mase skolah dulu pon, sebut je motivational talk. Konpem aku tido takpun borak ngan membe kiri-kanan-depan-blkg. Diri sndri pon takbape nak betol. Tapi, yelah, sharing is caring lah katekan (cehh). So, aku ditakdirkan untuk sharing-mering bersame upper6. Naseb baek boleh pair dgn tun fatimah berdua dgnmu pasti lebih baek. ak yakin itu.

Memandangkan kitorang berdua takde story and experience dlm stpm, jadi program sharing agak terpesong sket. Ust Asmadi jangan marah ye. Antara bentuk bentuk soklan yang diajukan dari membe group adalah seperti berikut:

1) Cer citer sket pasal rusuhan kat mesir? (soalan ramalan stpm nih)

2) Best ke dok mesir?

3) Cemane bleh apply mara?

4) Ksp ade offer program medic ker?

5) Betol ke orang mesir kasar-kasar?

Overall question>>sile ceritakan kehidupan anda di mesir. Haih. Ni program teknik blaja ye. Bukan program liku-liku-onak-ranjau student mesir kawan-kawan. Sungguhpon begitu, aku dan aini tetap jua melayan soklan dorang.

Then, we all pon pegi wat surprise visit kat umah Puan Sal. Umah dia kat(?). Sory ak lupe. Dia baru je lepas operate. Beliau agak terkejut ngan ketibaan kitorang dan terharu (aku agak laa). Yelah, orang wat surprise visit takkan rilek-kontrol-macho plak. Mestilah terkejut kan? Umah dia best kot. Beachside. Mase tu, anak Puan Sal aka hanifhafiz yang juga merangkap senior kitorang kat alex ade jugak.

ruang tengah ksp

Pastu, baru la pegi melawat cikgu-cikgi-para-lecturer ksp sekalian. Kak Chik aka adek datin dan sape je lagi? Owh. Budak kelas sebelah jumpa ngan Cik Aisyah, lecturer biochem dorang. Kitorang? tak jumpe sape sape pon. Lecturer sume buzy sakan. Takpe takpe, sebab malam tu kitorang membelanja Ust Asmadi dan lecturer lecturer laen kat Restoran Ana Ikan Bakar Petai. Nilah restoran yang ust blanje budak laki makan mase dulu tu lantas mengabaikan kitorang budak budak pompuan nih. Hee. Makanan memang superb delicious soo. Antara lecturer yang turut memeriahkan dinner ialah Ust Asmadi, Ust Hazwan, Ustzh Hamdiah, Ust Nazri, Ust Hazriman dan isteri serta 2orang anak beliau. Gambar tak layak untuk diupload gara-gara keblurran tahap critical sebaek saja malam menjelma. :( bukannya aku ade dslr pon.


The next day, kitorang pegi Teluk Cempedak secara berjemaah. Terpaksa mintak tolong budak laki anto kat TC. Yelah, mane nak carik transport pepagi buta weh. Sekalung ucapan tenkiu ditujukan buat pemilik innova dan hilux serta peneman mereka. Jasa baek korang takkan dilupakan. Niat dihati kawan aku nak tengok sunrise. Kata beliau, sunrise di malaysia tak same ngan yang ade kat alex. Mungkinkah? Aku pon tak brape pasti ye. Budak laki pulak rasenye pegi Panching. Kata dorang, air terjun mane ade kat alex. Hape-hape jelah.


Pastu, sume orang dah beransur pulang ke kampung halaman masing masing. Kitorang yang geng klate nih tak beli tiket balik pon ag. Bajet tiket tak abeh sebab bukan musim bebudak skolah olide. Nak beli on the spot lah konon. Skali kitorang pegi, tiket petang dah sold out. Esok pon. Tinggal tiket di malam hari aja. Malam pon malam laa. Jom berjoli dan perabih duet pegi ECM. Yeah. Mase kat ksp dulu every weekend pegi situ. Sebelom naek bas, kami berempat maseh sempat dibelanja Ust Asmadi.*wink wink*

sayonara...

p/s: Time kaseh Ust Asmadi yang tak kenal erti penat-lelah-jemu meng-handle program ini. Laen kali buat lagi. =)

p/s/s: "Bile pulak korang nak turun pahang? Summer nanti korang tak balek kan?" *ehemm. ye ke?*

How To Ruin A Joke?

Aha. this story isn't mine. Mind you, this is taken from reader's digest. Love this story. Sbb tu sanggup copy balik this story from the book. See betapa rajinnya haha.

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THERE'S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DO IT. MY FAMILY KNOWS THEM ALL.

By ANDY SIMMONS 

A classic jokes goes like this: A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, "Doctor, doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him."

Pretty simple, right?

Here's how i tell it: "A nurse-her name is Joyce-feels a presence in the waiting room. She looks around but sees nothing. She jumps up from her desk, carefully replaces her chair, and runs down the lavender-hued hallway to the doctor's office. She knocks on the door. No response. He's not there. Where is he? She continues down the hall, admiring a lithograph of an 18th-century Mississippi paddleboat along the way." By this time, my audience has left, but I soldier on. "She bursts into an exam room and says, 'Doctor, doctor!' The doctor, I should mention, is a urologist with a degree from Ohio State, which is where my nephew..."

You get the idea. I'm an embellisher. I can't leave a simple gag alone.

I'm not the only joke-challenged member of the family. My sister's worse than I am. Her problem: She can't remember them. "'A nurse rushes into an exam room and says...' Uh, let me start all over again. 'A nurse rushes into a waiting...' No, it's not the waiting room. She just came from the waiting room. Let me start all over again. 'A nurse rushes into...' No, wait..."

My uncle's different. He's guilty of taking a perfectly fine joke and selling it as the second coming of Oscar Wilde: "OK, this is a good one. Ready? No, really, ready? OK, fasten your seat belts. Ready? 'A nurse...' Got it? A nurse? OK, ready? 'A nurse rushes into an exam room and says, "Doctor, doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room."' Now, this is where it gets funny. Ready?"

No-one is ever ready, so they leave before he gets to the punch line.

My father's on Wall Street, so he hears all the joke before they hit the Web. And he lets you know he knows them all by telling you all of them. He also knows that most people don't like jokes. So he slips them in under the radar: "I was chatting with Ben Bernanke the other day. You know Ben, don't you? The Fed chief? Anyway, we were reviewing the Fed's policy on long-term interest rates, and he told me it had evolved into its current iteration only after a nurse rushed into an exam room and said, 'Doctor, doctor, there's a...' Hey, where are you going?"

My brother Mark understands that the secret to good joke telling is to know your audience. When he was with my grandmother's mahjong's club one evening, he made it a point to adapt the joke to them: "A stacked nurse rushes into an exam room..."

No-one in my family has ever finished this joke.

But as bad as it is not to be able to tell a joke, there's something worse: not being able to listen to one. Take my cousin Mitch.

"Why couldn't the doctor see him?" he asked.

"Because he's invisible," I said.

"Now, I didn't get that. I thought the doctor couldn't see him because he was with a patient."

"Well, yeah, OK, but the fact that the guy was invisible..."
 

"Could the nurse see him?"

"No. She's the one who said he was invisible..."

"How'd she know he was there?"
 

"Because he..."

"When you say he was invisible, does that mean his clothes were invisible too?"

Here's where I tried to walk away. 

"Because if his clothes weren't invisible," Mitch said, stepping between me and the exit, "then the doctor could see him, right?"

"Yeah, but..."

"At least his clothes."

"I guess..."

"Unless he was naked."

"OK, he was naked!"

"Why would he go to his doctor naked?"

Next time you see my family and someone's telling a joke, do yourself a favour: Make yourself invisible.

p/s: tetiba teringat cite invisible man kt tv3 dulu-dulu tu :p